Kremvax replies part 1
From chernenko@kremvax.UUCP Sun Apr  1 15:02:52 1984
Relay-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83 (MC840302); site mcvax.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 4/1/84 (SU840401); site kremvax.UUCP
Path: mcvax!moskvax!kremvax!chernenko
From: chernenko@kremvax.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.general,eunet.general,net.politics,eunet.politics
Subject: USSR on Usenet
Message-ID: <0001@kremvax.UUCP>
Date: Sun, 1-Apr-84 15:02:52 GMT
Article-I.D.: kremvax.0001
Posted: Sun Apr  1 15:02:52 1984
Date-Received: Mon, 1-Apr-84 12:26:02 GMT
Organization: MIIA, Moscow
Lines: 41

<.....>

Well, today, 840401, this is at last the Socialist Union of Soviet
Republics joining the Usenet network and saying hallo to everybody.

One reason for us to join this network has been to have a means of
having an open discussion forum with the American and European people
and making clear to them our strong efforts towards attaining peaceful
coexistence between the people of the Soviet Union and those of the
United States and Europe.

We have been informed that on this network many people have given strong
anti-Russian opinions, but we believe they have been misguided by their
leaders, especially the American administration, who is seeking for war
and domination of the world.
By well informing those people from our side we hope to have a possibility
to make clear to them our intentions and ideas.

Some of those in the Western world, who believe in the truth of what we
say have made possible our entry on this network; to them we are very
grateful. We hereby invite you to freely give your comments and opinions.

Here are the data for our backbone site:

Name: moskvax
Organization: Moscow Institute for International Affairs
Contact: K. Chernenko
Phone: +7 095 840401
Postal-Address: Moscow, Soviet Union
Electronic-Address: mcvax!moskvax!kremvax!chernenko
News: mcvax kremvax kgbvax
Mail: mcvax kremvax kgbvax

And now, let's open a flask of Vodka and have a drink on our entry on
this network. So:

			NA ZDAROVJE!

-- 
	K. Chernenko, Moscow, USSR
	...{decvax,philabs}!mcvax!moskvax!kremvax!chernenko

And the replies and discussion it evoked: ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From decvax!harpo!we13!ltuxa!tty3b!mjk Tue Apr 3 00:25:21 1984 This isn't funny. P.S. I hope you get so much mail in response to this that you're reading it for a week straight. F**k you. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From vax135!cornell!uw-beaver!ssc-vax!alcmist Tue Apr 3 07:48:16 1984 chto eto za govno? ya ne veryu to chto ya chitayu v pyervom aprelye. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From sater@tjalk.UUCP (Hans van Staveren) Mon Apr 16 00:53:29 1984 Just goes to show that all those hard working customs men don't capture all the VAXen about to be shipped to our Communist neighbours. Now the time has really come for a world.politics ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From esa@kvvax4.UUCP (Esa K Viitala) Tue Apr 3 11:23:02 1984 Re: Now the time has relly come to a world.politics. Really? Where is Reagan's opener? Does he have a terminal? (Can he use one? Wargames, perhaps? Encrypted mail?) As for the real discussions in politics: it was Mr. Chernenko, not any single member of the Sovjet people, who was allowed on the net April the 1st. Exactly as one would expect, too. Let us hear more from you Mr. Chernenko... ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From decvax!harpo!seismo!rlgvax!cvl!umcp-cs!deba Wed Apr 4 00:36:58 1984 You have a comment about the American Administration ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From reo@teltone.UUCP (<if you want a different name for postings>) Mon Apr 2 23:40:37 1984 And April Fool to you too, Komrade! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From fish@ihu1g.UUCP (Bob Fishell) Tue Apr 3 02:56:41 1984 NA ZDAROVJE: possibly Russian for what sort of fool.....?? ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From phil@amd70.UUCP (Phil Ngai) Tue Apr 3 05:45:48 1984 Gee, I thought that every time Russia tried to buy a VAX, customs came along and filled the boxes with concrete. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From decvax!mcnc!duke!phs!susan Thu Apr 5 14:02:28 1984 Welcome! I hope it makes a difference. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From decvax!ihnp4!inuxc!inuxd!jle Thu Apr 5 14:32:36 1984 get out of our network!!! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From decvax!ucbvax!ucbtopaz:bitmap Thu Apr 5 14:33:33 1984 Nice try. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From decvax!stcvax!hao!woods Thu Apr 5 14:33:46 1984 I for one am very glad to see Russians on the network. I suspect that leaders of both sides have done a lot of damage spreading awful tales about the other side, when in reality the real people of Russia have no more against Capitalists than I have against Communists (which is nothing but a little ignorance). Welcome! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From decvax!tektronix!teklds!hercules!archiel Thu Apr 5 14:46:02 1984 If this is an April fools joke, which is what I suspect, I'm getting it two days too late. Nonetheless, I'll play along. It might be interesting to post some of the more interesting replies in a follow-up. Hmmm, "kgbvax," I like that one. Enjoy. Your message sounds like a prepared speech! We in America are used to free expression of our opinions on the net. Can you also express your opinions freely, or will your submissions be checked over for "anti-Soviet" statements. If your net contact is used as another channel for government- authored propaganda, not too many of us will be interested in reading your messages. If, on the other hand, you can offer us "off the cuff" opinions, some of us might be interested in listening. For example, how do you feel about Afghanistan? There must be those there who feel about the same way many of us felt about Vietnam. Is it worth the loss of life? ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From decvax!ihnp4!iwlc6!amigo Thu Apr 5 14:46:31 1984 Welcome to the net. The reason I am responding to your article is that I am fascinated by one sentence in it. You say: >> We have been informed that on this network many people have >> been given strong anti-Russian opinions, but we believe >> they have been misguided by their leaders, especially the >> American administration, who is seeking for war and >> domination of the world. If you were to exchange the words "Russian" and "American" in this sentence, you would have exactly the sort of anti-Russian opinion you are complaining about. Many Americans will tend to dismiss your attitude as "typical Soviet xenophobia," and I warn you that you will manage to persuade very few people to change their minds (I tried some months ago to do so on the net, and gave up in disgust). ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From decvax!ihnp4!inuxc!iuvax!isrnix!mr Thu Apr 5 15:03:20 1984 Just throwing a little gasoline on the fire, eh boys?? ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From decvax!tektronix!teklds!tekmdp!dadla!toc Thu Apr 5 15:03:24 1984 Chernenko: I'd like to be among the thousands welcoming you guys to the net. You're going to find quite a bit of whackiness and frenzy here (do you have wombats in Mother Russia?), but quite a bit of good honest discussion as well. I'm sure not.politics is going to have a field day :-) So let's open a bottle of Wild Turkey and celebrate this (he says modestly) historical event: CHEERS!!! where angels fear to tread, to'c (Gosh, does sending this letter put in the files of the CIA & KGB???) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From decvax!ucbvax!sdcsvax!stan Thu Apr 5 15:06:07 1984 If you receive this, and the network doesn't send back an 'unknown address' message to me, then you may not be kidding around, pulling everyone's leg. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From decvax!ihnp4!nwuxd!jab Thu Apr 5 15:06:32 1984 Wow! Is this for real? Honest-to-god Russia? Gee. I never thought that I'd see it. Does this imply that Unix is behind the Iron curtain? ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From decvax!tektronix!tekig!david Thu Apr 5 17:52:52 1984 right..................... >From decvax!ihnp4!inuxc!inuxh!willcox Thu Apr 5 21:59:18 1984 OK I byte. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From decvax!mcnc!duke!phs!webb Thu Apr 5 22:00:31 1984 Welcome! I am looking forward to hearing from you all and getting a clearer idea of Soviet views, lifestyle, etc. Please feel free to contribute in spite of any anti-Soviet rhetoric that you may have read on the net. This really should be a forum for exchange of thoughts and ideas from people of different races, religions, and countries. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From decvax!mcnc!akgua!glc Thu Apr 5 19:57:27 1984 Greetings, As a long-time Amateur Radio Operator, I have always found that person-to-person communication (as opposed to broadcast-against- broadcast) always seems to lead to better understanding and very pleasant situations all around. So welcome to this free-for-all called USENET. We have an interesting cross-section of humanity here and it will be interesting to see the interactions which arise when another point of view is presented. You will quickly learn that many of us have strong opinions on topics we know little about. So jump on in and enjoy yourself. It will be interesting to see which newsgroups you wind up participating in. In terms of a search for "truth", this forum is not the place to find "ultimate truth". There are many opinions and many differing points of view. My contention is that the interchange amoungst us all is the true value received from participation in the network. Be forewarned that there will be many "flames" against "The Russians" as the catch-all villan for many topics. May I suggest you quickly develop a thick skin and don't try to straighten out every misconception that comes along. For myself, I find there are too many deplorable actions taken by too many different nations to try to determine who is a "good guy" and who is a "bad guy". Our countries are made up of people, and that means each one is a complex make-up of different attitudes, different goals, different cultural backgrounds, and different expectations. But the more we can communicate with one another on a world-wide scale, the better we can understand each other. This has been my delight in Amateur Radio, and I expect the same to be true of computer networks. Just for your interest, here are the header lines of your article so that you can see the path it took to arrive here: Relay-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site akgua.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 4/1/83 (SU840401); site kremvax.UUCP Path: akgua!mcnc!decvax!mcvax!moskvax!kremvax!chernenko From: chernenko@kremvax.UUCP (K. Chernenko) Newsgroups: net.general,eunet.general,net.politics,eunet.politics Subject: USSR on Usenet Message-ID: <0001@kremvax.UUCP> Date: Sun, 1-Apr-84 11:02:52 EST Article-I.D.: kremvax.0001 Posted: Sun Apr 1 11:02:52 1984 Date-Received: Mon, 2-Apr-84 17:48:40 EST Organization: MIIA, Moscow Lines: 41 As a friendly comment, may I respond to your statement: We have been informed that on this network many people have given strong anti-Russian opinions, but we believe they have been misguided by their leaders, especially the American administration, who is seeking for war and domination of the world. Perhaps you are not aware, but the standard phrase "misguided by their leaders...seeking for war and domination of the world" is one of those things we have heard in those exact words so many times that it is a subject of humor to our comedians and satirical writers, especially since it seems to be said by every "super-power" about every other "super-power". After hearing it repeated so often, it becomes merely a meaningless phrase which no longer carries any impact to the listener. This is what I was referring to earlier: how strong polemics may sometime obscure the reality of a situation. For another comment of yours: And now, let's open a flask of Vodka and have a drink on our entry on this network. So: An excellent approach! I would like to participate in a toast to better understanding and spirited give-and-take amoungst all of us on the network. Welcome and Good Luck! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From decvax!harpo!seismo!hao!hplabs!ames-lm!al Thu Apr 5 19:57:58 1984 Greetings. Glad you're here. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From decvax!utcsrgv!dave Thu Apr 5 19:59:45 1984 How cute! Where does this end up, anyway? (Oh yeah... you forgot net.news.newsite :-) ) >From decvax!harpo!eagle!mhuxl!houxm!hogpc!hou5d!somewhere!stan Thu Apr 5 20:11:10 1984 Very Clever April 1 ........ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From decvax!harpo!seismo!rlgvax!cvl!gyuri Thu Apr 5 22:52:15 1984 This sounds like a joke, but what the heck! Here we go: Welcome to the world of USENET. First, let me congratulate you on getting funds approved for your telephone expenses. It must be pretty expensive to read all this garbage that the net is flooded with every day. Are you actually typing from the Kremlin? Wow! I didn't think any information can get out of there without being thoroughly checked, approved, rechecked and all that, and that can take days! How long, I wonder will it be before I recieve your response to this mail? You will respond, won't you? I used to live in Moscow when I was a young child. As a matter of fact my family lived on Prospect Mira; you may have heard of it (excuse the spelling, but my terminal supports only ASCII, and not RUSCII). Well, if you want to write, send it to: >From decvax!harpo!zeppo!wheps!mam Thu Apr 5 19:58:52 1984 Welcome! [From an isolated CIA outpost] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From esj@ihuxl.UUCP (Natty Dread ) Wed Apr 4 18:44:17 1984 C'mon, guys. Chernenko on April 1st; as in April Fools' Day; as in call "Percy Knell" because I don't have the expertise to answer a question of his. "Moe! Larry! Cheese! Moe! Larry! Cheese!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From ward@hao.UUCP (Mike Ward) Tue Apr 3 19:17:00 1984 Is this for real? Can we have confirmation from someone who is recognized as being in a position to know? >From north@down.UUCP (Professor X) Mon Apr 2 20:32:04 1984 I knew there was a path to the Russians on the net! Now at last we can exchange netnews messages about high school reunions and our latest cryptoanalytic results. Thank you eversomuch. Professor X ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From dsg@mhuxi.UUCP (GREEN) Tue Apr 3 22:13:01 1984 The posting date was April 1, which is generally what we call "April Fool's Day". Sometimes good practical jokes are played on that day. I have a strong feeling that USSR on the net is an April Fool's joke. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From arnold@gatech.UUCP (Arnold Robbins) Tue Apr 3 21:53:36 1984 Hmmm.... I just wonder who 'kgbvax' is.... :-( ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From jas@drutx.UUCP Wed Apr 4 21:06:23 1984 hao!ward asks: Is this for real? Can we have confirmation from someone who is recognized as being in a position to know? It is indeed for real. I am in a position to know (supine). ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From decvax!ittvax!dcdwest!sdcsvax!bmcg!asgb!devine Fri Apr 6 23:18:57 1984 I want to extend greetings from the west to all you Ruskies .... ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From decvax!dartvax!joeh Sat Apr 7 00:33:32 1984 Hello! gee, your warm greeting made it all the way up here to Dartmouth college! (Hanover New Hampshire). I'm the night operator and don't have any vodca so will a hot pot of coffee do... Well I better go back to work, just wanted to say HI and welcome. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From decvax!cwruecmp!sundar Sat Apr 7 00:50:52 1984 Today is the April 1 1984, also known as the April Fool's day. Whose leg you are pulling? :-) >From decvax!harpo!seismo!hao!hplabs!hp-pcd!jrf Sun Apr 8 01:33:13 1984 Is this a joke? ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From decvax!decwrl!amd70!fortune!greg Sun Apr 8 01:42:10 1984 We in capitalist America have received your first message and one simple thought pops into the minds of many a capitalist computer interfacer such as myself: ARE YOU FOR REAL? Please reply. We in the "buying is being" world would like to know for sure if you exist. Also, how do you get vaxes? From Sweden, or South Africa? ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From decvax!watmath!deepthot!uwo!reggers Sun Apr 8 14:10:46 1984 I am most pleased to see that our friends in Russia have joined the uucp network. Greetings (sorry I know no Russian). You will find the politics in Canada, or at least my politics, much less strident than many of the articles in usenet originating from the American Institutions. I hope for peace and friendly relations with all peoples of the world and hope that soon the cold war will end. I am especially concerned with misguided politics which is now raging in Central America. Peace in Nicaragua, peace in El Salvador, peace in world. >From rsc@entropy.UUCP (Rajiva Chakravarti) Thu Apr 12 10:08:43 1984 That was a nice April Fool's joke! How did you do it? ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From greg@hwcs.UUCP Wed Apr 11 14:44:05 1984 I found this article in extremely poor taste. Usenet is, I thought, for computing and international conviviality. The presence of Soviet sites on the net would be an excellent way of promoting these. The person who fudged this up clearly has access rights to their site's news facilities. If I worked there I'd be somewhat worried about security. Is it really beyond the wit of the perpetrator to find an April Fool which is more than foolish? ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From ken@ihuxq.UUCP (ken perlow) Wed Apr 11 00:59:09 1984 >> Is this for real? Can we have confirmation from someone who is >> recognized as being in a position to know? War of the Worlds, creationism... Now I understand. The person in the best "positon to know" is P. T. Barnum. His opinion is in the public domain. Kudos to the perpetrator! "moscvax", "kremvax" -- truly inspired! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From grt@hocda.UUCP (G.TOMASEVICH) Thu Apr 12 00:25:25 1984 The path we got is hocda!houxm!mhuxl!eagle!harpo!decvax!mcvax!moskvax!kremvax!chernenko If everyone compares paths, we can figure out what machine the perpetrator used. Who is paying the transatlantic phone bills? na zdravlja i zivjeli, ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From dave@utcsrgv.UUCP (Dave Sherman) Thu Apr 5 16:42:50 1984 Interesting that whoever did this (well done, by the way!) picked "vax" as the machine suffix. Don't you know what happens to VAXen that try to go to the USSR? (They get stopped in Sweden and it makes headlines in North America.) (-: ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From randy@utcsrgv.UUCP (Randall S. Becker) Thu Apr 5 22:35:11 1984 Have you ever considered the profession of private investigator? Good Show! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From inc@fluke.UUCP (Gary Benson) Fri Apr 6 22:26:57 1984 I want to voice my support of those who feel that the "April Fool's" joke about the USSR on the USENET was bad form. Particularly when it appeared in what many of us had come to rely on as the authoritative source for nuews about the network. Perhaps the perpetrator should be asked to pay all those long-distance phone bills that resulted when many people (apparently) responded to this article seriously and with a sense of the beginning of the start of a great adventure in international communication. Perhaps that individual should also be informed that April Fool's Day is not the widespread celebration (?) that we in the US, in our culturo-centric way, may sometimes think it is. It looks as if there is at least one fool on this network. -- >From the ever smiling, .). ever happy fingers of: V Gary Benson + + John Fluke Mfg. Co. ILLEGITIMI NON CARBORUNDUM !fluke!inc + + ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From bobr@zeus.UUCP (Robert Reed) Sun Apr 8 04:19:36 1984 I can't believe the upset that the April fool's Usenet announcement has caused. I think I can count myself among the majority at our site who viewed the obvious fraud with admiration. Did you seriously believe that a K. Chernenko at moskvax!kremvax really exists? kremvax? moskvax? Come on! I would like to thank whoever sent it as a good jest, well executed and not harmful in any way. -- Robert Reed, Tektronix Logic Design Systems, tektronix!teklds!bobr ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From ajaym@ihu1h.UUCP (Jay Mitchell) Sun Apr 15 00:41:00 1984 I cant believe people actually are getting upset over a simple joke. When I first read the article, I was borderline on believing until I got to the KGBvax signature. I thought it was very humurous and not at all in bad taste. It certainly didnt take any more phone costs to post that and generate reponses than any of the other lame-brain articles one sometimes reads on the net. It seems that more comments are being generated from a discussion of the article than the article itself did. And personally, I believe that anybody (or any culture) who cant find humor in a joke, whether or not it is April Fools Day, is seriously lacking in personality. >From dave@infopro.UUCP (David Fiedler) Mon Apr 9 03:14:14 1984 There have been some people who thought that planting of this rather hilarious piece was somehow in "bad taste", because they genuinely thought a new era of Soviet-U.S. cooperation was at hand. Perhaps we should take another look at some of the text of the original posting... >> We have been informed that on this network many people have given strong >> anti-Russian opinions, but we believe they have been misguided by their >> leaders, especially the American administration, who is seeking for war >> and domination of the world. >> ... >> Some of those in the Western world, who believe in the truth of what we >> say have made possible our entry on this network; to them we are very >> grateful. We hereby invite you to freely give your comments and opinions. If this were taken at face value, the meaning could roughly be translated as follows: While export to Warsaw Pact countries of advanced computers that could be used for military purposes, such as the VAX, has been prohibited, someone in league with us at the Kremlin has procured one for us [tantamount in this sense to bringing them the plans for one of our fighters -- DF]. We always knew you foolish capitalists would sell us the rope to hang you with! The war-mongering Reagan and all his dupes had better watch out, since we now have access to Arpanet and could probably break security on every computer on Usenet as well...after all, you people never *really* thought security was important, did you? While I'm as much in favor of TRUE Soviet-American cooperation on all fronts (including the eventual reduction of arms) as the next person, let's keep a perspective. Soviet access to the VAX would be a very serious matter, and just how secure WOULD you feel if the KGB could not only read your postings (some of which are quite revealing at times) but maybe get into your system? There ARE security holes, you know... "That's the biz, sweetheart..." Dave Fiedler {harpo,astrovax,philabs}!infopro!dave P.S. You also might consider that the NSA and CIA have access to the net. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From magi@deepthot.UUCP (David Wiseman) Fri Apr 6 18:55:16 1984 The path we got was deepthot!watmath!utzoo!linus!philabs!mcvax!moskvax!kremvax Hmmm... Comparing that with >The path we got is > hocda!houxm!mhuxl!eagle!harpo!decvax!mcvax!moskvax!kremvax!chernenko >If everyone compares paths, we can figure out what machine the perpetrator >used. Who is paying the transatlantic phone bills? > na zdravlja i zivjeli, > George Tomasevich, AT&T Bell Laboratories Seems to imply that mcvax itself is the culprit. -- ...!utzoo!uwo!deepthot!watmath!... ! ! magi magi ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From jeffw@tekecs.UUCP (Jeff Winslow) Sun Apr 8 03:01:45 1984 An open letter to Gary Benson: Oh, come now! The fact that the article appeared on April Fool's Day was hardly the only indication it was a joke. kgbvax? kremvax? Chernenko actually use a terminal? Do you really believe all that? Would you like to buy some desert land? The article did exactly what an April Fool's joke is supposed to do - make a lot of people act like fools, if only for a few minutes. They have no one but themselves to blame for their gullibility and the phone bills. But I can understand your (and their) reaction. People hate being made to look like fools. To whoever - Congrats for a job well done! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From richl@daemon.UUCP (Rick Lindsley) Sat Apr 14 09:24:23 1984 Don't bother searching for the Mad Muscovite. If I had the capability to make a path that included moskvax and kremvax, would I include MY site name also? I hope we NEVER find out who did it. Somebody will probably want to sack him/her for "poor taste", when it was actually quite clever. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From derek@sask.UUCP (Derek Andrew) Mon Apr 9 02:39:28 1984 The USSR joins the net article did not arrive here 1 April. Is there not a convention that jokes that are not obvious contain the :-) symbol? ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From decvax!mcnc!akgua!psuvax!burdvax!sjuvax!rbanerji Tue Apr 10 11:43:59 1984 I am extremely happy at this chance to talk. Let us see where this leads us. At present this is a private letter to you. If our correspondance begins to make sense, we shall start posting it. Your opinions about our government has been as one-sided as some of our people's opinions of the Russian people and Govenment. Let me tell you what I think. As people, there is bound to be some difference between us, because our cultural and political backgrounds are different. Nobody really knows how to overcome that. But that really doesnot get in the way of forming understandings on essential matters and even of personal friendships. I have successfully straddled two cultures (Indian and American) for a long time and have friends in many European countries including Russia. It is my belief that our Governement is dominated by rich people: but that most of these rich people donot see themselves as bad or greedy. There is some self-justifying rationalisation among them (you probably know about this as a sociologist-psychologist), but many of them are trying to do good. But they have their perceptions as you have yours: anbd it is difficult to tell perceptions from truth. Also, it is true that our political system is extremely tolerant of dissidence. As a result, when people do wrong things, and somebody (driven by greed, desire for fame or power, or just plain goodness) sees fit to start talking about it in public, changes do take place. Please remember that 30 years ago, your leaders were fond of ponting to the American Negro as the perennial downtrodden people of America. To-day a negro is running for president. You may interpret this any way you please: but the fact remains that change happens here. I think that changes happen in Russia also: but the process has to be slower, because people donot participate as freely. Also, it is our belief that your Governement is more secretaive. Hence we are a little worried about their bona fides. When our governement lies, we can tell. Can you? I would like you tpo tell me your perceptions; what do you know about the Korean airliner, for instance? What do you know about the jews in Russia? What can yopu tell me about our Governemnts faults (in the US, not abroad - we know about that) that maybe we donot know about. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From jcz@ncsu.UUCP (John Carl Zeigler) Mon Apr 9 17:24:11 1984 Aw, com' on! If the USSR really had a VAX (after recent news reports I wont say they don't) do you think they would broadcast their presence on USENET??? Does anyone know where nsavax is???? You are just toooooo paranoid!!! The article was obviously a prank, from the subject header on down. The thing that bothers me are the people who say things like '[using the network as a reliable source of information.]' HAH. When any bozo who can type/read can pour his inner most heartfelt insainites at a moments notice onto the desks of tens of thousands of the free worlds most technologically advanced profressionals and academics, and you call it RELIABLE!!!!!! Gime a break! Where's the beef! Hey, like you know! Don't take this thing so seriously, are you may wind up hanging from the end of a frayed rope (or nerve.) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From notes@iuvax.UUCP Mon Apr 9 10:02:54 1984 I agree (that the joke was a good one). It was imaginitive, well-executed, but could hardly fool anyone. That's the mark of a good joke. It had me going for the first little bit (not, "This is serious," but, "Is this a joke?"), because it seemed so sincere. But the reference to the beginning of April was a dead giveaway, and it was meant to be. Telling someone that the President's been killed may be a good joke, but letting him believe it and tell others is not. So you say, "April Fool!" and everybody laughs. That's wat the "perpetrator" did in this case: by making reference to the silliness that comes over people around the beginning of April, the author said, "April Fool!" to all of us. You would have to want to believe such a gesture as a Usenet site in Moscow so much that you are blinded by it, to miss the giveaway. As for the appropriateness of the posting to net.general, I would say that it is perhaps questionable, but I for one answer "yes" to that question. We're not a bunch of stuffed shirts on Usenet, and I think we can take a joke. Doesn't the New York Times print an occasional joke in their April 1 issue? Mightn't the Wall Street Journal publish an article like "Bell Refuses Breakup; May Take Up Arms Against FTC"? And mightn't we laugh at such a joke? I know I would, and I think many others would besides. I am sorry to insult the intelligence of people who wrote to moskvax!kremvax, and I really don't mean to. Like any other joke, some people were slow in getting this one. They should be good-natured about it, and say, "Ah, yes.. April Fool. I should have been more on my guard, and you can bet I will be next year!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From dman@homxa.UUCP (#D.ANDERSON) Mon Apr 9 05:16:38 1984 I felt very gullible. It really had me going. But, I stopped to think, why not? USENET is getting to be a Worldnet; I just wonder if any of today's trade/sales restrictions withhold UNIX from the USSR. I'd say that they do, but does anyone really know? And if not, would anyone be willing to serve as a Soviet gateway site ... ? ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From dman@homxa.UUCP (#D.ANDERSON) Mon Apr 9 05:16:38 1984 I felt very gullible. It really had me going. But, I stopped to think, why not? USENET is getting to be a Worldnet; I just wonder if any of today's trade/sales restrictions withhold UNIX from the USSR. I'd say that they do, but does anyone really know? And if not, would anyone be willing to serve as a Soviet gateway site ... ? ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From stekas@hou2g.UUCP (J.STEKAS) Mon Apr 9 20:38:50 1984 The April Fool's day posting from kremvax was the most refreshing thing I've seen on usenet. To those who ask - "How would you feel if it came from ciavax or fbivax?" - I wish I had been imaginative enough to have posted a reply from ciavax! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From norskog@fortune.UUCP (Lance Norskog) Mon Apr 9 23:22:47 1984 Anyone who doesn't immediately recognize the name "N. Chernenko" is spending too much time reading netnews. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From jsq@ut-sally.UUCP (John Quarterman) Mon Apr 9 20:35:56 1984 ...and just how secure WOULD you feel if the KGB could not only read your postings (some of which are quite revealing at times) but maybe get into your system? There ARE security holes, you know... "That's the biz, sweetheart..." Dave Fiedler {harpo,astrovax,philabs}!infopro!dave P.S. You also might consider that the NSA and CIA have access to the net. You really think that NSA and CIA can read USENET but KGB can't? It would only take one tapped phone line somewhere on four continents.... ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From jbf@ccieng5.UUCP (Jens Bernhard Fiederer) Mon Apr 9 20:34:15 1984 Actually, April Fools Day is not as limited as you might think it is.... It is celebrated in Europe as well as in America. I don't know whether Africans and Asians celebrate it. >From riddle@ut-sally.UUCP (Prentiss Riddle) Mon Apr 9 22:08:59 1984 >> You really think that NSA and CIA can read USENET but KGB can't? It >> would only take one tapped phone line somewhere on four continents.... >> -- John Quarterman jsq@ut-sally.UUCP May be, but I'll bet they're more interested in net.sources and net.unix-wizards than net.politics or net.flame. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From ron@brl-vgr.ARPA (Ron Natalie <ron>) Mon Apr 9 23:07:47 1984 C'mon guys. Do you expect that a letter from Ronald Reagan on the USENET would be legitimate? Than why did you expect such from the U.S.S.R? ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From ron@brl-vgr.ARPA (Ron Natalie <ron>) Mon Apr 16 00:56:34 1984 Hey guys, I don't know where NSAVAX is, but NSA-11/70 is called TYCHO and is on IMP 57 on the MILNET. >From vax135!floyd!cmcl2!lanl-a!unm-cvax!nmtvax!perry Wed Apr 11 07:48:47 1984 Dear sir, I am very glad to see that there is now a Soviet site on the net. Welcome. I am a computer science major at New Mexico Tech (in nowhere(Socorro), New Mexico, United States) and am very interested in the Soviet Union, particularly the people and the Russian language. I am looking forward to the day when our two countries will get along better. I really can not think of anything else to type, as I have class in a couple minute, so I will ask that you reply to this letter somehow. Once again, welcome to the net. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From burton@fortune.UUCP Tue Apr 10 04:11:24 1984 Come on now. Does anyone seriously doubt that Chernenko, who has no expertise in foreign policy, and probably can't speak, let alone write, in another language, would post something to the net? That joke was in good taste. Anyone who feels taken in by that joke should ask him/herself why the net is so central to his/her life. I know that's the case with some people. That's why the term nerd applies to computer people and not to those who spend all weekend watching TV sports. The real issue is how well rounded people's lives are. Flamers to /dev/shrink, please. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From france@unc.UUCP (Robert France) Tue Apr 10 09:20:58 1984 The USSR without vaxen? USENet a secure environment? Who's the April fool now? Anyone who seriously believes that their communications on the nets are not easily monitored by (a) partisan agents, (b) domestic government `security' groups, or (c) junior high school students should carefully reconsider the state and structure of their net. Not that I believe that (a) or (b) are true -- who would want to monitor this much drivel? On the other hand, the thought that USENet communications are in any way more secure than ham radio has, I fear, been shown time and time again to be in vain. Still, it would be nice to believe that various authoritarian regimes Who Shall Remain Nameless were wasting their machine cycles on us. Sort of gives you that warm, looked-after feeling. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From bbanerje@sjuvax.UUCP Mon Apr 9 09:32:14 1984 >From fluke!inc : >> I want to voice my support of those who feel that the "April Fool's" >> joke about the USSR on the USENET was bad form. Particularly when it >> appeared in what many of us had come to rely on as the authoritative >> source for nuews about the network. >> Come now! It appeared in net.general. Hardly authoritative! >> Perhaps the perpetrator should be asked to pay all those long-distance >> phone bills that resulted when many people (apparently) responded to >> this article seriously and with a sense of the beginning of the start >> of a great adventure in international communication. >> The perpetrator(s) seem to be the people in charge of the uucp (and usenet?) at either decvax or mcvax. As these are the sites that usually pay the transatlantic phone bills anyhow; and since they aren't complaining... why should you. NOTE. I have no concrete evidence for these assumptions. Someone with write permission for the decvax and /or mcvax spool directories must have been responsible. It stands to reason that this was the news/uucp administrator. >> Perhaps that individual should also be informed that April Fool's Day >> is not the widespread celebration (?) that we in the US, in our >> culturo-centric way, may sometimes think it is. It is my understanding that April Fool's Day is more widespread if anything in Europe (especially the Netherlands) than in the USA. Congratulations to whoever responsible. It was a great joke. BTW, to fluke!inc - Why was your followup in net.general? ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From spuhler@hplabs.UUCP (Tom Spuhler) Mon Apr 9 22:50:41 1984 I suppose that it would be unlikely that the USSR would, in a day and age when the US is busily trying to suppress VAX exports to the USSR, have, or admite to having, two linked to the net.... ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From pector@ihuxw.UUCP (Scott W. Pector) Tue Apr 10 19:01:20 1984 Congratulations, once again, to the perpetrator of the joke. When I read it, I was thinking initially: Is this a joke! Then I looked at the first line of text and it said 840401 in it. It had to be a prank when I saw that! So much for the Saskatchewanan who implied that since he didn't get the article on 4/1, he had no indication it was a prank. For those who were fooled: c'mon and 'fess up! No more of this whining about how poor the joke was and how it must be an indication of a breach of Net security and how a new beginning in international communications was about to unfold, etc.! All of this is an attempt to save face over being fooled. One of the most popular authors in the eyes of Netters, Mark Twain, was known to play a hoax now or then. I gave an example of one of his in net.books last November. That one involved a nonsensical, physically impossible description of a nature scene in one of his stories. People in the 1890s and 1900s completely ignored that paragraph or 90% of it at that time, taking it as plausible. Practically all the Netters who responded to my article failed to pick up 90% or more of the errors in that paragraph! No one whined when I gave the correct answer there. Another prank that Twain pulled was in 1864 in Nevada. He wrote a story for a local newspaper about the amazing "Petrified Man" found in some local mountain cave. There, too, he defined a location which even the locals should have known did not exist, but everyone fell for it. Further, he had the Petrified Man thumbing his nose in a frozen pose! The article got circulated in many parts of the US and an expedition was almost taken up to recover the fake fossil before the prank was revealed! As W. C. Fields said: There's a sucker born every minute. Last comment: After reading the joke, I thought that no one would fall for it for more than a second or two. In fact, I thought that the author of it should have used a leading Russian scientist as his spokesperson, instead of Chernenko, to make it more believable. Boy, did I overestimate Net intelligence! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From fjg@ihuxj.UUCP (Frank Greco) Tue Apr 17 00:53:29 1984 For all you netizens who can't appreciate a joke for its humor and must debate its theme, consider the following: The VAXEN report was perpetrated by KGB agents operating undercover as admission officers at a well known Big Ten university. The perpetrators were part of a larger espionage ring whose primary mission, known to the US intelligence community for some time, was to both monitor the caliber of student entering American universities and colleges, and to facilitate the infiltration of the American academic community by KGB agents posing as graduate students seeking admission to the universities. (The espionage ring was so entrenched as to have had financial aid officers in place at some very prestigious institutions.) The perpetrators had a secondary mission. This secondary mission consisted of monitoring the broadcasts of local radio and television stations, and keeping abreast of the contents of newpapers, popular magazines, trade journals, and other forms of public communication. In other words, the agents were responsible for keeping abreast with current events as seen through the average American's eyes. The agents were also responsible for interpreting this information vis-a-vis personal relationships developed under cover. The agents were to report their findings indirectly to Moscow via Russian embassies in the United States on a regular basis. The VAXEN hoax fell under the auspices of this second mission. The perpetrators were ostensibly low key university users with general network priviledges. Covertly, they were KGB agents on a mission. The perpetrators had been monitoring the network, a form of public communication, for some time. The perpetrators planted the VAXEN article to test the gullibility of network users and to test the security of their covers on the network. The perpetrators enlisted the aid of a KGB agent posing as a computer science Master's student to dummy up the network path name. Unfortunately for the KGB, this agent was a double agent! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From burt@axiom.UUCP (Burt Janz) Tue Apr 10 18:27:05 1984 I am very surprised that there are actually people out there who are upset at the April Fools letter from Chernenko. I thought it was rather cute. Also, being slightly analytical, I found it curious to BEGIN with that Chernenko would have access to any of our networks, since a lot of them go through some really strange (!) routing. I also looked IMMEDIATELY at the originator routing and the date. Both were nonsensical. Actually, it might be in everyone's best interests to open up relations with Soviet-bloc countries, and this might be the best way to start. Most of the scientists on either side believe in the same laws of nature, and reach the same conclusions on most studies (the recent studies on nuclear war aftermath, for instance). To summarize, you have to expect strangness on April 1st. It's traditional, fun, and sometimes very surprising. I have a hardcopy of the letter pinned to my wall over my desk. I hope that there will soon be a message of similar welcome from over there (without the political rhetoric, of course). ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From jsq@ut-sally.UUCP Tue Apr 10 02:41:06 1984 One of Tycho's aliases is NSA, and IMP 57 itself is known as NSA. Difficult to find.... ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From north@down.UUCP Tue Apr 10 08:05:08 1984 >> You really think that NSA and CIA can read USENET but KGB can't? It >> would only take one tapped phone line somewhere on four continents.. May be, but I'll bet they're more interested in net.sources and net.unix-wizards than net.politics or net.flame. i know for a fact that the Russians on the net are *very* interested in expire with history rebuilding, although expire is such a dog that their national defense system (everything is a system) is highly vulnerable while it toils away (but it's *still* worth it). they also are hoping to learn how to delete files with unprintable characters in their names and what "fubar" means. and wait til they snarf "car.c" out of net.sources. it could be the end of the free world as we know it. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From cwh@drufl.UUCP (Hoffmeyer) Wed Apr 11 03:26:37 1984 Some ten years or so ago, an American president committed such stupefying blunders that he finally resigned from office. At that time, and apparently even in his most recent interviews, his personality might still be described as humorless. April Fool's Day is, admittedly, an American institution, but it seems to this writer that one desirable side effect of the net is that national peculiarities may provoke the thought of people in other nations. I very much enjoyed what was so obviously humorous that high school kids got the joke right away... ...for the sour pusses out there, let me take a line from Mickey Spillane's Mike Hammer - Lighten up! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From faunt@hplabsc.UUCP (Doug Faunt) Tue Apr 10 23:03:41 1984 Well, now we know where moscvax, kremvax, and kgbvax came from. The 9 April dated AW&ST has an article that says that it is believed that a complete 782 and the guts of a 780 got into the USSR before the smugglers got caught. I suspect that kremvax and kgbvax are the dual processors of the 782. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From steve@zinfandel.UUCP Wed Apr 11 13:19:34 1984 >> I want to voice my support of those who feel that the "April Fool's" joke >> about the USSR on the USENET was bad form. Particularly when it appeared in >> what many of us had come to rely on as the authoritative source for nuews >> about the network. Sucker. Don't believe everything you read, especially on a (mostly) free-for-all anarchy such as this network. >> ... many people (apparently) responded to this article >> seriously and with a sense of the beginning of the start of a great >> adventure in international communication. And if next year I post newsite submissions from heaven!god and hell!satan to net.general, there would probably be those who would bite on them, too. ("See, I TOLD you there was a God and now there's proof!") ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From pector@ihuxw.UUCP (Scott W. Pector) Wed Apr 11 02:53:18 1984 I stand corrected. P. T. Barnum said "There's a sucker born every minute." (thanks to Andy Myers whuxj!abm) W. C. Fields said "You can't cheat an honest man and never give a sucker an even break!" Both phrases were names of movies of his and the latter (I think) was the one he starred in with Charlie McCarthy and Edgar Bergen. (Great flick!) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From jrb@wdl1.UUCP (John R Blaker) Mon Apr 16 01:57:30 1984 That the USSR joining the net message was a joke was (to me, at least) obvious by a casual look at the header of the message. Unfortunately, the joke had one problem: It wasn't very funny. >From jmrobson@watdaisy.UUCP (Mike Robson) Wed Apr 11 18:59:33 1984 April fool's day an American institution?!?! Come off it. (neither American nor Canadian but able to appreciate an April fool like kgbvax) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From wmartin@brl-vgr.ARPA (Will Martin ) Wed Apr 11 20:00:49 1984 KGB Officers are university admissions personnel? AHA! THAT explains it! Now I know why the current crop of students are who they are... ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From mat@hou5d.UUCP Wed Apr 11 22:30:29 1984 To the comment ``it wasn't very funny'' I can point out that I laughed at the thought of the number of people who would fall for it! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From jaap@haring.UUCP Fri Apr 13 14:41:33 1984 >... April Fool's Day is, admittedly, an American institution, but it >seems to this writer that one desirable side effect of the net >is that national peculiarities may provoke the thought of people >in other nations. .... Everyone here learns the following riddle: Op een april verloor Alva zijn bril. (Before everybody spends to much time looking for his dutch to english dictonary, translation: On the first of april, Alva lost his glasses. Of course glasses is the translation of bril). What happened a couple of centuries ago was, that Dutch patriotic freedom fighters (Geuzen*) overtook the place Den Briel on the first of April, using a kind of Trojan horse trick. (Alva was the Spanish supervisor, trying to rule the Low Lands (De Nederlanden) for the Spanish king). So this small event in history is always explained to me as the starting point for april fool's day (een aprildag). It might be a nationalistic view, but patriotism is a peculiar thing. To place this into some historic background, New York was still called Nieuw-Amsterdam, and if the republic of the Low Lans didn't lost this war against England, so had to give swap Nieuw Amsterdam to (like it is called now) Suriname, you would probably have learned the same in school, and I wouldn't need to translate the Dutch to you ... :-) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From ron@brl-vgr.ARPA (Ron Natalie <ron>) Thu Apr 12 16:53:12 1984 Selling them a VAX is likely to set them back ten years. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From aeq@pucc-h (Jeff Sargent) Thu Apr 12 10:58:45 1984 > Gee, I thought that every time Russia tried to buy a VAX, customs came > along and filled the boxes with concrete. Considering the response time of VAXen under any sort of load, I would say that the boxes are filled with concrete not by customs, but by DEC.... ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From minas@foxvax1.UUCP (P.C. Minasian ) Thu Apr 12 22:52:23 1984 We here at ...decvax!genrad!wjh12!foxvax1 seem to have had some security problems on 1 April 1984 and failed to receive the transmission from Comrade Chernenko; best guesses point to sabotage by NSA operatives. We have since repaired our reception facilities and request retransmission (encrypted of course!). ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From toby@felix.UUCP Thu Apr 12 18:21:45 1984 Didn't anybody who fell for the joke notice that the PHONE NUMBER given in the article was also 840401 ? ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From jdb@qubix.UUCP (Jeff Bulf) Fri Apr 20 00:49:05 1984 > Selling them a VAX is likely to set them back ten years. Can you imagine how long THEY have to wait for DEC service? :-) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From barmar@mit-eddie.UUCP (Barry Margolin) Sun Apr 15 12:50:10 1984 >Selling them a VAX is likely to set them back ten years. I've heard that they are about that far behind us in computer technology. I've heard stories of them taking apart 8080's and Z80's and copying them by examining the masks. The copies are much bigger and slower. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >From sloane@noscvax.UUCP Sun Apr 15 23:33:48 1984 Who is Mark Horton, anyway, and why did he steal my glasses? -Alva ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Well, today, two weeks after the Big Bang, here we are. Thanks to all of you, netpals, who replied to my "USSR on Usenet" article. Reading all your replies really made worth while the forging I had to do hide the real origin. There were only a few negative responses. So humour still prevails in this (net)world. 'Sorry' for those who took this April Fool so bloody serious...... (I got serious letters more than 3 pages long!) Thanks also to those over here for the suggestions that eventually led to this article. Here's a summary of the responses, some of them with a comment. Not afraid to at last reveal the real source... Piet Beertema (piet@mcvax.UUCP) P.S. Sorry I had to explicitly state the date (twice) in the article body; otherwise it might have fooled more people; but the risk of the news software mangling the date in the header was just too bad). ----------------------------------------------------------------------- *** And April Fool to you too, Komrade! *** As for the real discussions in politics: it was Mr. Chernenko, not any single member of the Sovjet people, who was allowed on the net April the 1st. (I AM a single member of the Soviet people, comrade! Chernenko.) *** Where is Reagan's opener? Does he have a terminal? (Can he use one? Wargames, perhaps? Encrypted mail?) (No, he can't: has to keep his fingers on the trigger...) *** This isn't funny. I hope you get so much mail in response to this that you're reading it for a week straight. F**k you. (I did. And enjoyed it! Fuck me? Ain't no chick, pal. motss perhaps?) *** Gee, I thought that every time Russia tried to buy a VAX, customs came along and filled the boxes with concrete. *** get out of our network!!! *** chto eto za govno? ya ne veryu to chto ya chitayu v pyervom aprelye. (Sorry, but my Russian isn't what is used to be.... Cherny.) *** Hmmm, "kgbvax," I like that one. Enjoy. *** Your message sounds like a prepared speech! (It sure was....!) *** If your net contact is used as another channel for government- authored propaganda, not too many of us will be interested in reading your messages. *** Many Americans will tend to dismiss your attitude as "typical Soviet xenophobia," and I warn you that you will manage to persuade very few people to change their minds (I tried some months ago to do so on the net, and gave up in disgust). *** Do you have wombats in Mother Russia? *** So let's open a bottle of Wild Turkey and celebrate this (he says modestly) historical event: CHEERS!!! *** Gosh, does sending this letter put in the files of the CIA & KGB??? (Sure bet! And don't forget the CWI!) *** If you receive this, and the network doesn't send back an 'unknown address' message to me, then you may not be kidding around, pulling everyone's leg. (it will, from now on) *** Wow! Is this for real? Honest-to-god Russia? Gee. I never thought that I'd see it. Does this imply that Unix is behind the Iron curtain? (Isn't that where at least the encryption algorithm came from?) *** Perhaps you are not aware, but the standard phrase "misguided by their leaders...seeking for war and domination of the world" is one of those things we have heard in those exact words so many times that it is a subject of humor to our comedians and satirical writers. (Well, how about this satirical writer?) *** It will be interesting to see which newsgroups you wind up participating in. (net.nuclear and net.jokes....) *** How cute! Where does this end up, anyway? (In my mailbox... Piet) *** (Oh yeah... you forgot net.news.newsite :-) ) (Sorry for that; can happen with a novice.... Cherny) *** Very Clever April 1 ........ *** This sounds like a joke, but what the heck! Here we go: Welcome to the world of USENET. First, let me congratulate you on getting funds approved for your telephone expenses. It must be pretty expensive to read all this garbage that the net is flooded with every day. Are you actually typing from the Kremlin? Wow! I didn't think any information can get out of there without being thoroughly checked, approved, rechecked and all that, and that can take days! How long, I wonder will it be before I recieve your response to this mail? You will respond, won't you? (Of course...) *** Welcome! [From an isolated CIA outpost] (Then why didn't you send your mail to 'kgbvax'.....? Actually no one did. Pity.) *** >Is this for real? Can we have confirmation from someone who is >recognized as being in a position to know? It is indeed for real. I am in a position to know (supine). *** I knew there was a path to the Russians on the net! Now at last we can exchange netnews messages about high school reunions and our latest cryptoanalytic results. Thank you eversomuch. *** The posting date was April 1, which is generally what we call "April Fool's Day". Sometimes good practical jokes are played on that day. I have a strong feeling that USSR on the net is an April Fool's joke. (So do I...) *** Hmmm.... I just wonder who 'kgbvax' is.... :-( (That's 'ciavax', only spelled eastward :-)) *** I'm the night operator and don't have any vodca so will a hot pot of coffee do... Well I better go back to work, just wanted to say HI and welcome. *** Today is the April 1 1984, also known as the April Fool's day. Whose leg you are pulling? :-) (Netland's) *** We in capitalist America have received your first message and one simple thought pops into the minds of many a capitalist computer interfacer such as myself: ARE YOU FOR REAL? Please reply. We in the "buying is being" world would like to know for sure if you exist. Also, how do you get vaxes? From Sweden, or South Africa? (From Malaysia, El Salvador, Indonesia etc.) *** I am most pleased to see that our friends in Russia have joined the uucp network. Greetings (sorry I know no Russian). You will find the politics in Canada, or at least my politics, much less strident than many of the articles in usenet originating from the American Institutions. (...) *** That was a nice April Fool's joke! How did you do it? (By spending a nice Sunday afternoon on this: 1. change the sendmail configuration table to deflect all mails for "moskvax" to my mailbox; 2. disable uucico; 3. post the article; 4. forge the article's header (also trying to take care of the time difference between Moscow and Amsterdam...); 5. re-enable uucico; 6. start up all connections to spread the article as quick as possible. [And that's where is almost went wrong: couldn't get a connection to decvax that whole day! Perhaps decvax playing April Fool on me???] That's all...) *** I found this article in extremely poor taste. The person who fudged this up clearly has access rights to their site's news facilities. If I worked there I'd be somewhat worried about security. (No one else is, since they all know the meaning of April 1...; [This one came from Scotland; must have been very bad weather there...]) *** War of the Worlds, creationism... Now I understand. The person in the best "positon to know" is P. T. Barnum. His opinion is in the public domain. Kudos to the perpetrator! "moscvax", "kremvax" -- truly inspired! *** If everyone compares paths, we can figure out what machine the perpetrator used. (Save your energy; here he is) *** Interesting that whoever did this (well done, by the way!) picked "vax" as the machine suffix. Don't you know what happens to VAXen that try to go to the USSR? (They get stopped in Sweden and it makes headlines in North America.) (-: (Since the Russians spell "Moskva", the suffix was just 'x'.... :-)) *** Have you ever considered the profession of private investigator? Good Show! *** I want to voice my support of those who feel that the "April Fool's" joke about the USSR on the USENET was bad form. Particularly when it appeared in what many of us had come to rely on as the authoritative source for nuews about the network. (net.politics you mean?) Perhaps that individual should also be informed that April Fool's Day is not the widespread celebration (?) that we in the US, in our culturo-centric way, may sometimes think it is. (For your information: it IS!) It looks as if there is at least one fool on this network. >From the ever smiling, ever happy fingers of:..... (Right! One with ever smiling fingers....) *** Did you seriously believe that a K. Chernenko at moskvax!kremvax really exists? kremvax? moskvax? Come on! *** I cant believe people actually are getting upset over a simple joke. When I first read the article, I was borderline on believing until I got to the KGBvax signature. I thought it was very humurous and not at all in bad taste. It certainly didnt take any more phone costs to post that and generate reponses than any of the other lame-brain articles one sometimes reads on the net. (I agree! Especially when my finger is hurting from hitting the 'n' key!) *** There have been some people who thought that planting of this rather hilarious piece was somehow in "bad taste", because they genuinely thought a new era of Soviet-U.S. cooperation was at hand. (...and were too busy/sleepy to look at all the references to the date...) *** Seems to imply that mcvax itself is the culprit. (Good work!) *** kgbvax? kremvax? Chernenko actually use a terminal? Do you really believe all that? Would you like to buy some desert land? The article did exactly what an April Fool's joke is supposed to do - make a lot of people act like fools, if only for a few minutes. *** Don't bother searching for the Mad Muscovite. If I had the capability to make a path that included moskvax and kremvax, would I include MY site name also? I hope we NEVER find out who did it. Somebody will probably want to sack him/her for "poor taste", when it was actually quite clever. (Never mind: sack > /dev/null) *** The USSR joins the net article did not arrive here 1 April. Is there not a convention that jokes that are not obvious contain the :-) symbol? (See P.S. above; see explicit date and phonenumber(!) in article) *** Subject: Know News Versions in use version B 2.10.1 4/1/83 (SU840401) kremvax.UUCP (Shouldn't computers be told about April 1 too?) *** I am extremely happy at this chance to talk. Let us see where this leads us. At present this is a private letter to you. If our correspondance begins to make sense, we shall start posting it. *** The article was obviously a prank, from the subject header on down. The thing that bothers me are the people who say things like '[using the network as a reliable source of information.]' HAH. *** But the reference to the beginning of April was a dead giveaway, and it was meant to be. (Yes. See P.S. above) *** I should have been more on my guard, and you can bet I will be next year!" *** ...would anyone be willing to serve as a Soviet gateway site? (I can honestly state mcvax, as the gateway to continental Europe, will) *** The April Fool's day posting from kremvax was the most refreshing thing I've seen on usenet. To those who ask - "How would you feel if it came from ciavax or fbivax?" - I wish I had been imaginative enough to have posted a reply from ciavax! (I wish you had...) *** C'mon guys. Do you expect that a letter from Ronald Reagan on the USENET would be legitimate? Than why did you expect such from the U.S.S.R? (Would you expect a letter from ANY politician on USENET?) *** Dear sir, I am very glad to see that there is now a Soviet site on the net. Welcome. I am a computer science major at .....; I have class in a couple minute, so I will ask that you reply to this letter somehow. *** In fact, I thought that the author of it should have used a leading Russian scientist as his spokesperson, instead of Chernenko, to make it more believable. Boy, did I overestimate Net intelligence! *** KGB Officers are university admissions personnel? AHA! THAT explains it! Now I know why the current crop of students are who they are... *** Selling them a VAX is likely to set them back ten years. *** --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Well, thanks for your attention, Comrades. But right now I've got the Russian Flu, so I'm afraid I won't see you again before April 1 next year! K. Chernenko